Thursday, December 15, 2011

Advice: Raising Children in a Religious Environment

If you want your children to not like religion, force them to sit in synagogue for all of the prayers (David Kilimnick on how kids don't understand that religion is about saying things you don't understand and doing things you don't know the meaning for).

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

ADVICE: Teachers & Safety

If you are a teacher, do not teach in classroom (David Kilimnick on how with all the allegations, it is much safer to teach 3rd grade by way of video conferencing).

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Advice: Bus Etiquette

If people need to pass, move your cart (David Kilimnick on how he had to explain to a young woman that people should not have to jump over her cart to pass on the bus & how she reprimanded him for requesting courtesy for the old people)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Advice: Keep Your Name

If you get married after 30 years old, do not change your last name. (David Kilimnick on how he doesn't know any of his old lady friends).

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Advice: Keeping Warm During Summer

Do not use your air-conditioning. (David Kilimnick on how he bought an air-conditioner and is saving money).

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Advice: Keeping Old Friends

Remember that people get older. When you get a request on Facebook, they might look different. (David Kilimnick on all of his old friends looking like rabbis).

Monday, August 22, 2011

Advice: Drinking at Wine Festival

Advice: Do not get too drunk. Remember that it is in a classy place. (David Kilimnick on why he got kicked out of the Israel Museum for puking on the sculpture).

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Advice: Eating on a Fast Day

Do not eat 3 meals at once, to make up for fasting a day (David Kilimnick on how he put on 2 kilo last Tisha B'Av).

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Advice: The Housing Price Protest in Israel

Do not leave your house to live on a porch of an abandoned building (David Kilimnick on how the homeless guy is taking the protest too far).

Friday, July 15, 2011

Advice: Stay in Israel

Do not move to New York (David Kilimnick on how he cannot live in a place with so many Jews and what might sound antisemitic).

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Advice: Fishing in Israel

Do not go fishing with Israeli fishermen, they do not share their pole (David Kilimnick on the worst day of his Israel experience, with a fisherman who doesn't want to share, because he is afraid there isn't enough water in Israel for two).

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Advice: Lag BOmer

Advice: Don't shower for Lag B'Omer (David Kilimnick on how he is going to fight back against all the bad smelling people who don't shower from before Shabbat, while hanging out at campfires).

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Advice: Memorial Day Etiquette

Don't start a fight and scream at the guy standing in front of you. That is not proper etiquette at the Tekes/Memorial Day ceremony (David Kilimnick on how he yelled 'I can not see the candle').

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Advice: Religious Demeanor

In synagogue, you should sit there with a serious, painful face. (David Kilimnick on what he sees in shule every Shabbat morning & what is kavanah/proper intent).

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Advice: Usage of Terminology

Don't use the term 'Gd willing' for everything (David Kilimnick on how it is wrong to blame Gd for your tardiness- as shared by Becky Bierman).

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Advice: How to start Romance on Facebook

Advice: Don't use smileys on Facebook. It translates them into freaky, horror looking faces. Might as well send her 'I love you' with and LOL. (David Kilimnick on why he did not get the date on Facebook).

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Advice: Dressing up & Expression on Purim

Advice: Enjoy dressing up on Purim and express yourself. People look at you weird when you wear the man skirt and the tube top with the kafia, the rest of the year. (David Kilimnick on how people judge him).

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Advice: Correct Terminology of Rapper

Don't use the term rap artist. (David Kilimnick on how talented people don't call themselves artists, but musicians. And how Picasso would be offended).

Monday, February 28, 2011

Advice: Drinking during the Holiday Season

Stop drinking once you find that you start to enjoy talking to people. That means you have drunk too much. (David Kilimnick on how he gets bye at kiddush- in shul).

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Advice: Laundry in Israel during Winter

Don't use your drying rack to dry your laundry (David Kilimnick on how he is wearing a short sleeve shirt, because his clothes haven't dried for two weeks).

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Advice: Saving Money on your Car

When your car breaks down and the speedometer goes, do not fix it; just go the speed of traffic (David Kilimnick on how he saved 5,000nis and has to push start his car- as noted by Ben Draiman).

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Advice: Hot Coffee Vending Machine Usage

Don't take out your coffee from the big coffee vending machines (David Kilimnick on how he burned his hand because the hot coffee company hasn't figured out that the plastic does not stop hot from being hot).

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Advice: How to act at your Wedding

When you get married, do not leave the Yichud room (the room designated for privacy for the bride and groom), The guests can enjoy their shnitzel without you. (David Kilimnick on religious weddings and how he doesn't understand that the first time these people can touch according to Jewish law, the husband is saying 'One second honey, David's here, I have to go dance').

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Advice: Directions in Israel

Give directions using modern landmarks (David Kilimnick on how he now knows there was an ice cream stand in Haifa 5 years ago, but still does not know where his friends live)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Advice: What not to Learn From Men

Women, do not go to a night club to check out guys and gawk. (David Kilimnick on what women should not learn from men)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Advice: Israeli Style

ADVICE: Buy a very tight shirt. (David Kilimnick on style, as witnessed on the streets with a lot of stretchy shirts, which might have something to do with the tiny measurement used for the XXL shirts here).